Sex as a Spiritual Path Is The Only Way to Become the Lover She’ll Never Forget
My work is evolving, and I’m damn proud of it.
I’ll start with what’s hardest to say (and what you might already know if you’ve been following me for a while).
If there’s one thing I haven’t figured out yet… it’s love. Or, more precisely, how to sustain the interest and the love of a man for me over time.
For years, I carried shame about this. How could someone like me, someone who knows so much about intimacy, about connection, about pleasure, still find herself struggling to make romantic relationships last?
I’ve fought this reality and maybe today instead of crying about it, it’s simply better to laugh.
But here’s the thing: life has its own kind of cosmic balance, because while I may not have mastered the art of sustaining a relationship, there’s one thing I have absolutely, undeniably mastered:
The art of sex and pleasure.
And no, it’s not because I was born with some special gift.
It’s because I studied it. Obsessively. I lived it, tested it, questioned it until I became good at it.
Because, if I’ve been able to maintain the first stage of a romantic relationship (the stage of the attraction, the passion, the fire), it’s been largely because I was amazing in bed.
Because I knew how to create desire in a man.
Because I knew how to guide, to tease and to awaken the great lover any man can be.
Now, here’s the paradox. Even with all this knowledge, I didn’t fully own it for years. I stayed hidden.
I was the ghostwriter behind some of the biggest names in this industry. I wrote their newsletters, their blog posts, their sales pages, their books, their courses or their YouTube scripts. I helped them build their brands, their platforms, their empires, with my words and my expertise. But someone else’s face was on it, someone else’s name got the credit.
And why did I let that happen?
There are two main reasons.
One, because I was scared. Scared of being judged as someone not worthy of long-term love. I was scared that if I fully showed myself — as a woman who teaches the art of sex, who speaks openly about pleasure, about sexual mastery, about what truly makes intimacy thrive — then men wouldn’t see me as wife material. I didn’t want potential partners to see me only as “the sex coach.” I didn’t want to be fetishized, misunderstood, or dismissed.
Two, because I’ve always been sensitive to energy (almost too sensitive at times) like a finely tuned instrument. I can feel what isn’t said. I can sense truth beneath words. And when it comes to sexuality, there’s often an unhealthy energy that emerges from men who seek sex coaching. Most of the men I was coaching were stuck in exactly that: self-performance, self-judgment, and zero genuine care about their partner’s pleasure. It takes a great deal of self-love for a man to choose not to be a slave to his own penis and a high level of self-awareness to avoid falling into either selfish performance or self-rejection. And when they did seem to care, it was often their ego unconsciously playing in the background ( wanting to be the best, to impress, to feel worthy) rather than a true desire to connect or serve.
When their desire to become a better lover wasn't rooted in a true commitment to growth or when the ego was secretly running the show, I felt energetically drained and disgusted. Like something holy has been violated without reverence. Therefore, something inside me recoiled and pushed it away.
But something shifted in me after a devastating breakup that left me questioning my purpose in life (yeah, you've heard me talking about that ex a hundred times).
The real problem wasn’t the work I was doing, but the belief that I needed to stay hidden behind someone else’s name to be worthy of love, on top of the disconnect I felt between sexuality and spirituality.
It got me thinking.
What is true to me? How can I bridge the gap to find joy and pride again, to show up fully in this work?
As I was swimming in the sea in Vietnam, thinking of all this, I got stung by a jellyfish and felt a sense of overwhelming clarity when I emerged from the water. Struggling with the pain, I grabbed my notebook and started writing.
Becoming a better lover is actually a spiritual path.
It has to be!
If you know Human Design, this won’t surprise you: I'm a 3/6 profile (3= martyr and 6= role model) and I’ve been living in the martyr phase for most of my life.
I've been learning through trial and error, experimentations, heartbreaks, traumas and I have collected wisdom the hard way.
But now? It’s time to step into the next chapter of my design: the role model who doesn’t hide behind anyone’s name anymore but fully owns her own.
And so, now my work is a return to the part of me that always knew sex was more than technique—it was a way to know God.
Our culture trains men to perform, impress and conquer. And it trains women to please, to submit, or to contort themselves into something desirable. Where, in all of that, is God?
My work is a response to that question.
In traditional Tantra, sex is not about performance or pleasure alone. It is sadhana—a spiritual discipline.
Sex, in its highest form, is a dissolving of the ego and a remembering of oneness. When practiced with reverence, intention, and surrender, sex becomes a gateway to the Divine and a felt, embodied experience of unity.
Sex, when done consciously, humbles you.
It shows you where you still hide behind your ego.
It makes you confront the parts of yourself that fear vulnerability.
And it stretches you into being more of who you really are (on top of becoming an unforgettable lover).
That’s the real gift.
Not just giving her the best orgasm or gaining the label of best lover of the year but spiritual growth — because at the end of your life, this is all that you keep with you when your engine stops working.
What's Next
After years of watching others take my methods, put their face on it, and sell it for $2,000, $5,000, even $10,000, I’ve finally reached my limit.
I’m just done playing small.
What I created for others came from years of experience in intimacy, and deep study. And now, it’s time for me to bring it forward in my own voice, with full ownership, and full service.
This marks a new chapter in my work.
And with that, I'm launching a weekly coaching circle for men who want to become better lover and master sexuality not just for performance but as a spiritual path.
This new coaching circle is called The Pleasure Room – A Path to God.
It’s for men who are ready to:
Become better lovers
Treat sex as a spiritual path
Move beyond performance and becoming fully confident
Let go of self-judgment
Learn the art of giving real, embodied pleasure
Connect with other men walking the same path
Unlike most programs out there charging thousands of dollars for content that quietly borrows from my original work, this ongoing coaching circle is affordable: just $125 per week, with no commitment required.
Each week, you’ll receive one lesson by email—something tangible you can practice, either with a partner or on your own (there will always be two options). Then, we’ll gather to discuss it together and you'll be coached on the spot.
Come once.
Come weekly.
Come when your heart calls you back, or when you have a specific question you want to bring to the group.
You’ll meet in a private, anonymous Zoom space with up to 10 other men. You can keep your camera off. You don’t have to speak unless you want to. And over time, if it feels right, you’ll start to share.
I know many men aren’t used to gathering in circles the way women often do. It can feel vulnerable. But this is where real power begins. When you hear another man speak the very thing you've been secretly carrying, everything starts to shift.
Join The Pleasure Room – A Path to God
If this speaks to you, you already know it’s time.
Join the Pleasure Room - A Path to God
A weekly live coaching circle for men ready to master sexuality as a spiritual path and become unforgettable lovers.
⏰ Every Thursday for 60 to 90 minutes
11:00 AM EST / 8:00 AM PST - Starts Thursday, July 16, 2025
💻 On Zoom · Anonymous-friendly · No commitment · Deeply transformative · Limited to 10 men only
💸 $125/week — Come once or come every week
To register, email me at hello@hakimatantrika.com.
Each week, I will guide you to master female pleasure—but not for ego or for performance but as a spiritual path. Yes, you’ll become a better lover. But more importantly, you’ll finally meet yourself and God.
In my previous coaching practice, I met countless successful men who quietly admitted that their identity was built around how good they were in bed. But aging shook that illusion. With performance declining, they didn’t know who they were anymore.
If that’s you, know this: You can regain your performance and become a profoundly generous, masterful, magnetic lover, when you stop seeing sex as a physical release and begin treating it as a spiritual path.
And once you do that, everything shifts.
My work is evolving, and so are the men who step into it. If this resonates, let's meet.